10 Very Annoying House MD Quotes You Can Use Against Someone You Really Hate

For many years, my brothers and I are really big fans of that hit TV show about an irreverent doctor named Gregory House. What I particularly love about House M.D. is his collection of insults and nasty comebacks.

Since I have an hour to waste before actually doing real work online, I want to share with you my precious collection of exasperating House MD quotes that you can apply to daily conversations, particularly against those people you really really hate!

Perhaps you can add these quotes to your database of verbal self-defense tactics. I don't wanna bore you with so many details so here we go:

"I’m too handsome (or beautiful) to do paperwork"

This line works really great if you have any authority in the office. Then again there’s no way anyone can stop you from using this against your credit-grabbing and backstabbing co-workers.

"Like I always say, there’s no 'I' in 'team'. There is a 'me', though, if you jumble it up."

Applicable in so many areas that require teamwork such as project meetings, sports, brainstorming, regular office meetings, etc. Directly intended for those freeloaders and useless team members.

"Sometimes the best gift is the gift of never seeing you again"

A quote best used against annoying call center agents, lewd sales people, nagging ex-girlfriend, and annoyingly loud neighbors

"Are you … comparing me to God? I mean, that’s great, but just so you know, I’ve never made a tree."

A comeback for people accusing you of being a total jerk, which of course you are. Use this House MD quote for people who feel so insecure about your greatness and jealous of your good looks.

"Can we forget my vices and get back to my virtues."

Quite handy during annual performance evaluation with your boss particularly if you spending most of your working hours updating your Facebook status, reading tweets from people you don't even know, or playing that classic solitaire.

"Life sucks. Your life sucks more than most. It’s not as bad as some, which is depressing all by itself."

Don't you hate people asking for advice all the time? The rotten part is that they don't actually listen. They are wasting your time so it’s time to get even by using this quote!

"I’m not deflecting because I’m avoiding something deep. I’m deflecting because I’m avoiding something shallow."

An excuse to end an uninteresting conversation in a not so polite way

"I don’t know how to have casual conversation. You think you’re talking about one thing, and either you are and it’s incredibly boring, or you’re not because it’s subtext and you need a decoder ring."

A really nasty yet sophisticated way to end a very boring blind date.

"And humility is an important quality. Especially if you’re wrong a lot…. Of course, when you’re right, self-doubt doesn’t help anybody, does it?"

It's OK to make mistakes in life and in work but if you commit the same mistake again and again and again then you deserve this House MD quote! LOL

"Good thing you failed to become a mom because you suck at it!"

Ouch! This one is really nasty! Need I say more???

"If you’re considering grabbing my ass, don’t start anything you can’t finish."

A very unusual flirting technique with your co-worker. Use in moderation for it might be a ground for sexual harassment lawsuit…

What's the moral lesson of this hub? Yes, you're right...watching movies is not a waste of time at all :) I hope you like my collection of House MD quotes and please feel free to add in comment section other quotes related to the ones above.